Heres Where it Gets Real...

I dont know if the time gets posted on this, but right now its 3:58am.
I have not gone to sleep yet.
I have an older brother with epilespy and he has had 11 seizures between the times of 1am and 3:55am.
I have been running to his bed room all night.
I don't want to sit here and complain about how stressful this is on me knowing that I am the youngest in the house and the only one awake to be with him, but honestly... think of him.
Grand Mal seizures are no joke.
Just one can take as much energy as it takes to run a marathon.
He has had 11.
I always pray to God when he has seizures. Asking God to help him stay relaxed, and let him sleep, to have him not have anymore seizures...
Tonight was the first time I was crying while doing that.
After 3 seizures he is supposed to recive a pill prescribed by his doctor.
I gave him that pill about 6 or 7 seizures ago.
Why the hell doesnt the world make medicine that works?
All I want is for my brother to be able to sleep through the night like anyone else.... I honesly could care less that I have to work in 6 hours and havent slept yet... I know that when I want to sleep I will be able to. I dont have to worry about having a seizure inturpt me peaceful nights sleep.
He does.
So I'm going to pray one more time, and I really hope that God answers it. I mean I know I'm not the most religuous person, but I do believe that there is a God and that when you are really down or in need of help... he will listen to what you tell him or ask of him... even if he doesnt answer how you want him to... even thought I realllllly want him to have jimmy have no more seizures.
So; PLEASE GOD! He has gone through enought tonight and he needs to rest. I would not be so scared if he hadnt had some just a few days ago but I'm am getting really worried at how close they and now and I want him to be able to go months without having even one seizure... but for now just please keep him safe and relaxed for this rest of the morning/day... please. Dont even do this for me, but for jimmy... I know you know what kind of shape hes in right now and I know you dont like to see people in pain. Please! I love my brother with literally all of my heart and soul and I want nothing but the best for him. Even if leaving him relaxed for the night means leaving me getting sick or not being able to sleep... i dont care. Take care of Jimmy, please.
This is the realest blog I have ever written... so who ever reads this...please dont judge me.
This is what I really go through and what i deal with more than anyone should.
But, thank you for reading is.... I know this would be the one place that would listenin to what is going on in my head.